Pat and Mike took a job on a farm to eke out a meager existence. One day while Pat was baling hay, he sees Mike come running up in considerable distress yelling, "Pat come quick, Seamus just fell into the manure pit up to his ankles." Pat was not alarmed in the least. He asked Mike, "If he's only in up to his ankles, can't he just walk out?" "No", said Mike, running off again. "Grab your shovel and hurry, he fell in hat first."

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there one afternoon, his cousin walked by. "What are ye doing?", asked O'Bannon. "Fishin'," said MacAndrews. "Caught anything?" "Ach, nae a bit." "What are ye usin' fer bait?" "Worms" "Let me see it," said O'Bannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line out one more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out. "Have ye got a bite?, asked O'Bannon. "No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "the worm's got a salmon by the throat!"

Over the years I have collected many witty sayings illustrating the humorous side of medicine. These are not original with me, some of the authors are unknown. Here goes.

• WNL means "We never looked."
• When in doubt, cut it out.
• I cut, therefore I am.
• The mark of a good doctor is usually illegible.
• Doctors are men who prescribe medicine of which they know little. To cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of which they know nothings. Voltaire
• Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors believe they're God, nurses are God.
• Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Irma Brombeck
• God heals and the doctor takes the fees. Ben Franklin
• Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. William Osler
• The greatest three advances in the history of medicine are penicillin, the CT scan, and the day off.
• Experience is what you rely on when you haven't read anything for awhile.
• HMO means "Heave Mom Out"
• Going to continuing medical education is like eating a plate of vegetables. You know its good for you but you'd rather have french fries.
• It is notable to teach ones self. It is still nobler to teach others and less trouble. Mark Twain
• Voice heard from the surgical team at start of operation, "Who opens?"
• A doc's life is a tough one... He may be called off the golf course at a moments notice.
• There are only two sorts of doctors, those that practice without their brains and those that practice without their tongues. William Osler

John J. Mohr, M.D.